I had a fairly easy pregnancy, a "text book" birth, and my son was an absolute perfect baby, slept well, fed well and rarely cried. I had people visiting often and nearly every one who I saw told me how lucky I was that everything was so wonderful for me.
All my working life I had been surrounded by children and was always the one new mums sought advice from so that made people assume that being a mum was a breeze for me.
Over time people visited less, and as I have no family within an hours drive of my new home, and knew few people in the area, I found myself at home alone more and more.
I didnt see my depression sneaking up on me, but over a few months, I found it more and more difficult to leave the house, and even day to day chores became nearly impossible. I would see the dishes in the sink and wondered how I would get them done, and then I would txt my husband warning him that I had not gotten stuff done that day. I felt like an absolute failure.
I talked often to my mum on the phone, and one afternoon she suggested that I should pack up for a few days and that bub and I should come and stay with her for the weekend. I had a lovely time being spoilt and having so much help with my baby, so got lots of rest, but when I returned home I still felt warn out and unhappy.
It was then that it dawned on me that all was not as it should be and I mentioned to my husband that I didnt feel right. Straight away he agreed and suggested that maybe I should see someone. I phoned my mum and she agreed also, so I swallowed my pride and went to the local GP.
I was put on a mental health care plan straight away and started couselling that week.
Friends and people I know are still shocked that someone who had the experience that I did could possibly have PND, but I have come to do more than accept it, I feel the need to talk about it, and take some of the sting out of it for other women. It is okay to not be okay!!